Ideals and knowing too much for your own good...

It's interesting the ideals that we are presented with in this day and age. There's fashion, dating, careers, houses, belongings, wealth, and just about anything else that you can see on primetime television. No matter what subject you approach, there is some sort of 'ideal' aspect involved with that particular thing. Nothing is safe.

Take the Olymics for example. Beyond all the medals, the competition, the guts, blood sweat and tears, there is an unbelievable amount of advertising. And for what products you might ask? Fast food, softdrinks, and STUFF. Every third commercial is for McDonalds or Coca Cola. These companies sell ideals. They attempt to put you in a "happy place", enjoying their food/beverage and the "wonderful times" that go along with it. Why? I can't have a "wonderful time" eating the turkey sandwhich I just made? Or is that tap water I'm drinking not going to influence my happiness? This is all not to mention the fact that they show OLYMPIC ATHLETES consuming these products! I almost laughed my ass off when I saw the awkward sight of a shredded track runner holding a freakin' Big Mac. Do people really believe this crap? And what type of a messege is that sending to the mostly overweight children in our country? "Hey Bobby, you too could swim like Michael Phelps...just down this Quarter Pounder and..." Seriously, what the hell?!

Ideals are not always bad however. When directed properly, they can be a very powerful motivating factor. In athletics, we learn that we can all reach a certain level of 'ideal' performance. The only issue with that is that we must seek our own ideal and not someone elses. We're taught that if we do the right things (i.e. train hard, rest hard, and leave the damn Big Mac alone) we can create in ourselves, an ideal atmosphere for success. However, as simple as this may seem, we often times find ourselves stuck in the sludge of our own minds. We compare ourselves to others, often analyzing their performances much more than our own. We're only setting ourselves up for failure in doing so.

I totally admire the outlook of Ironman World Champion Chrissy Wellington. So much has been made of the fact that in winning (in her first attempt no less) the Ironman World Championship, she didn't even know many of the "big names" she was competing against. To me, this says volumes about not only her, but her coach, Brett Sutton, as well. Psycholgically, she was set up to be racing truly against herself. They created the ideal environment for her to succeed. While so many athletes, whether they consciously know it or not, set themselves up for failure, she was in a position where the only option was to just go. She kept it simple and let her hard work and discipline shine through on the course. Without a doubt, she's the "big name" now.

So in putting this into my own life, I can say that in many ways, ignorance is bliss. It's taken me a long time to put some things together in my life, and I'm still working on a lot more. From what I've learned, putting your focus in a positive direction and allowing your brain to be concerned with only the body that's below it is paramount. I can't say that it's easy, but I believe it's safe to say that true success comes from developing your own, true ideal.

Training....

I went for a run with the Port Jefferson Road Runners today. We ran for about 2 hours in the hills on the North Shore of Long island. We held a pretty good pace and worked in some stairway repeats toward the middle of the run. There is a gnarly set of stairs that run up a cliff overlooking the Long Island Sound that we use for training. And when I say gnarly, I mean it. These things are about as old as time. I'm suprised no one has fallen through a step yet!

I would have to say that overall I felt pretty good, especially the day after a race. I'm happy that my fitness is starting to come together and my climbing is really getting strong-all those hill repeats are really starting to make a difference. Today was a great training day, and a victory for my fitness!

On another note:

Do you ever wonder what makes people tick? And why one person's make up is so different than another? I have someone in my life very close to me that suffers from bi polar disorder. For my entire life with this person, I've had to adjust my behavior around them so much to the point that it makes me question, at times, who I really am. When you spend your whole life catering to the actions of another, it really takes a toll on you emotionally-one that you may not even recognize until years have passed.

It's a very tight rope that you walk when you live with a bi polar person. Some days are fine and dandy, and then suddenly everything switches on a dime. You leave to go to the store and they're feeling happy and you leave them smiling. Then you come home a half hour later to discover that you have started World War III.

At times this makes me cry. But why is that? Is it because I feel sorry for them? Or do I feel sorry for myself? These are the questions that have tormented me for a lifetime. I'm always second guessing myself around them. And because this person means so much to me I have trouble with decisions that would otherwise seem normal and easy to other people. I guess in the end my troubles stem from the fact that I know who I am in the world with everyone else, but do I really know who I am with one of the closest people in the world to me. I hope I can find that person.

I love you Mom.